From Crossroads to Clarity: How Motherhood Redefined My Career and Identity

If you had told me 15 years ago that this is what I would be doing now, I wouldn’t have believed you. Back then, I had a clear vision of my career path, one that was driven by ambition and the certainty that I could carve out my place in the world. But life has a way of teaching us that certainty is often an illusion. My journey into motherhood didn’t just shift my priorities, it redefined them.

There was a moment, a true crossroads, where I felt like I was losing my ambition to motherhood. With each passing day, a part of me felt like it was slipping away. I struggled with the feeling that my dreams were being overshadowed, that the strong, career-driven woman I once envisioned was fading. But over the years, I’ve come to understand that it was never about choosing one over the other. It was about realistic adjustment, about evolving into a version of myself that could hold space for both ambition and motherhood.

The younger me had no clue about the intricacies of life. She believed in an all-or-nothing approach, where success was a linear path. But my reality has become one of balance—of making space for both my family and my personal aspirations. I believe now that I can have it all, not in the way my 18-year-old self imagined, but in a way that feels far more fulfilling than any dream I once held. Because of that mindset shift, I have achieved more than I ever thought possible. I wouldn’t trade any of it for the imagined life I once held onto so tightly.

It was through this journey that I founded iNtombi. This was never part of my original vision, but looking back, it feels like it was meant to be. iNtombi is more than a business; it’s a love letter, to myself as a young girl, to my daughters, and to all the mothers out there who want to foster a positive self-image for their children. It exists because I embraced the transformation of self that motherhood required of me.

Now, part of my work is guiding other women who are facing their own version of this crossroads. Many women struggle with feeling like they have to give up their ambitions or their sense of self to make space for motherhood. But the truth is, we don’t have to choose. We have to deconstruct the beliefs we once held and make space for what is possible now. The key isn’t in holding on to an outdated vision, it’s in embracing the evolution of self, in finding new ways to integrate life, work, and motherhood in a way that works for us.

Motherhood isn’t the end of who we are, it’s an expansion. And when we allow ourselves to grow with it, we find possibilities we never could have imagined.

So to every woman standing at her own crossroads, wondering if she has to choose—know this: 

You are not losing yourself

You are evolving into the next version of you

And she is powerful, capable, and more than enough

Wellness wishes,

Mmakgabo